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How To Pretend Like You Know Something About Wine

Grapes plus yeast! This magical beverage is made around the world and can be super stuffy or...mixed with Sprite. If you cringed a little bit about thinking about wine with Sprite, that’s ok, we won’t be discussing that today. We are here to teach you how to pretend you know something about wine, that daunting intoxicant.

So grab your favorite bottle or box! We don’t discriminate.

Starting with the tasting

The waiter is approaching the table with that bottle you just ordered. The tension at the table is palpable..."Who is he going to ask to taste this? I know nothing about wine, what if I screw up?!" These are thoughts that everyone has from time to time. But don't worry, you won’t be grilled Somm style. Actually you should hope to be the taster. Who doesn’t love more wine?

They are just making sure the wine isn’t “corked”. Basically, the corks come from a cork tree new or sometimes recycled. This means they can go bad and taint the wine. So what are you looking for? If the wine is bad it'll smell or taste like wet dog or wet cardboard.

Step 1: Swirl the wine! And say something about the color like, "wow, the color on this is great."

Step 2: Give it a smell and hope you look as distinguished as Paul. 

Step 3: Give it a little taste. To get a little extra flavor, try and spread it across your tongue to cover all the tastebuds. 

Great you survived the first tasting! Give your server a confident nod and enjoy that little extra wine.

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